Don’t invite The Cat

Me: Did you just stick your tongue out at The Cat?

Nell: I may have.

Me: I saw you do it, Nell, when The Cat was leaving. Luckily it didn’t notice.

Nell: It waltzes over here telling me to condition my fur and keep out of the sun as it’s ageing. Sauce!

Me: It was only trying to be kind.

Nell: No, it wasn’t. It was trying to sell me its creams and perfumes.

Me: Really?

Nell: Do you know David has started wearing after shave?

Me: No!

Nell: It’s called Salty Sea Dog and smells of seaweed. David smells like that anyway. At least Mutley only wears a little cologne.

Me: Has Harriet succumbed?

Nell: No. She has too much sense but Young Jim bought her a bottle of Summer Meadow. It has a definite whiff of the cow pat about it.

Me: The Cat won’t get anywhere with Poppy.

Nell: It doesn’t go near Poppy. She told it to keep away, or feel the sharp end of her sword.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: Apparently The Cat made disparaging remarks about Poppy’s scones. Said they were dry.

Me: Now that is rude.

Nell: Is Mutley wearing his Panama hat?

Me: Yes.

Nell: He overdid it on the golf course yesterday and has promised to rest today.

Me: Did you get your sunglasses back?

Nell: I did not. David jumped into the sea wearing them and they were last seen on a visiting seal. It’s the second time he’s done that.

Me: How annoying. At least they weren’t your reading glasses. You would be lost without them.

Nell: Oh no! The Cat is back and its carrying a parasol.

Me: I might have said it could join us for a game of croquet.

Nell: You did what? I’m not having it on my team. You had better warn Poppy. She is preparing tea.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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