Me: Why is Harriet digging?

Nell: She is trying to distract me.

Me: What?

Nell: They are all refusing to tell me where it is.

Me: What?

Nell: The farmer’s hat.

Me: Has it gone?

Nell: We are playing Hide and Fetch, which is fine in itself, but not when it involves stealing.

Me: How do you play?

Nell: You bury something, usually a bone, and someone has to find it. Distraction holes are allowed. If you know where it is when asked, you say “Fetch”.

Me: That’s why there are holes everywhere. I thought we had moles.

Nell: But this time it has gone too far. Somebody has stolen the farmer’s hat.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: David was seen wearing it in the top garden. But when asked he said he had no idea where it was now and then he shouted “Fetch”.

Me: Naughty, but actually quite brave considering you were asking.

Nell: Then I went to Harriet and asked her. She said she couldn’t possibly say, which isn’t an answer at all. As I was leaving she whispered “Fetch”.

Me: I’m sorry but this sounds fun.

Nell: Mutley knows. When I asked him, he tapped his nose in that annoying way of his and sang “Fetch”.

Me: He sang?

Nell: Yes, like an opera singer. So irritating.

Me: What about Poppy?

Nell: Poppy was creative.

Me: How?

Nell: She was baking, so obviously has a lot on her mind. I asked her politely if she knew where it was and she just pushed a cake towards me.

Me: That was nice of her.

Nell: On the top she had iced “Fetch”.

Me: Clever.

Nell: Different but then that’s Poppy for you. I’m sure John is in on it, too. He ate the cake.

Me: I wish I could play.

Nell: You can.

Me: Do you know where it is then?

Nell: Would I be telling you this story if I did?

Me: No, I suppose not.

Nell: Fetch.

Me: What did you say? You do know.

Nell: Of course, do keep up.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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