Me: Why is Harriet digging?
Nell: She is trying to distract me.
Me: What?
Nell: They are all refusing to tell me where it is.
Me: What?
Nell: The farmer’s hat.
Me: Has it gone?
Nell: We are playing Hide and Fetch, which is fine in itself, but not when it involves stealing.
Me: How do you play?
Nell: You bury something, usually a bone, and someone has to find it. Distraction holes are allowed. If you know where it is when asked, you say “Fetch”.
Me: That’s why there are holes everywhere. I thought we had moles.
Nell: But this time it has gone too far. Somebody has stolen the farmer’s hat.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: David was seen wearing it in the top garden. But when asked he said he had no idea where it was now and then he shouted “Fetch”.
Me: Naughty, but actually quite brave considering you were asking.
Nell: Then I went to Harriet and asked her. She said she couldn’t possibly say, which isn’t an answer at all. As I was leaving she whispered “Fetch”.
Me: I’m sorry but this sounds fun.
Nell: Mutley knows. When I asked him, he tapped his nose in that annoying way of his and sang “Fetch”.
Me: He sang?
Nell: Yes, like an opera singer. So irritating.
Me: What about Poppy?
Nell: Poppy was creative.
Me: How?
Nell: She was baking, so obviously has a lot on her mind. I asked her politely if she knew where it was and she just pushed a cake towards me.
Me: That was nice of her.
Nell: On the top she had iced “Fetch”.
Me: Clever.
Nell: Different but then that’s Poppy for you. I’m sure John is in on it, too. He ate the cake.
Me: I wish I could play.
Nell: You can.
Me: Do you know where it is then?
Nell: Would I be telling you this story if I did?
Me: No, I suppose not.
Nell: Fetch.
Me: What did you say? You do know.
Nell: Of course, do keep up.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
