Me: Don’t look at me like that.
Nell: What are they doing to the floor?
Me: They are laying the carpet upstairs and faux wood downstairs.
Nell: Carpet is soft under paw.
Me: Yes, that’s why it is upstairs.
Nell: I wanted it downstairs too.
Me: It’s not practical with all the sand and mud you lot bring in. We discussed this.
Nell: I wipe my paws.
Me: Well, that’s what is happening, so please get off the sofa so they can start.
Nell: It’s obviously going to be one of those days.
Me: Why?
Nell: Poppy saw a Doberman when she was out jogging with Harriet early this morning.
Me: Oh no.
Nell: It smiled at them.
Me: That’s nice.
Nell: No, it isn’t. Dobermans don’t smile. And it was eating a pork pie.
Me: Small, or big?
Nell: It doesn’t matter. It’s the Doberman from the Deli. I’m sure of it. Who eats a pork pie at 6am?
Me: I wish they would take Dave when they go jogging. It would be safer with Dobermans around.
Nell: David doesn’t do early mornings and he can’t jog. He just runs really fast until he falls over like a llama. They have to climb over him and it ruins their split times.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: Actually you are right. There may be more than one Doberman.
Me: You said they are usually in twos.
Nell: Exactly. I need Harriet to contact Richard Price and invite him for tea. He will know what to do.
Me: He’s the sensible dog from the next village, isn’t he? The poodle?
Nell: Richard Price is not a poodle. He is a pedigree Black Russian Terrier.
Me: Funny name for a Russian.
Nell: Richard is from Devon. His family run the pub down by our beach. Labradors were originally from Newfoundland but we aren’t all Canadians.
Me: I like Canadians.
Nell: So do I but that is not the point. Did David just go past me on a skateboard?
Me: Yes. Apparently it helps his balance according to his surfing friends. Don’t worry Poppy has taken Mutley’s board away.
Nell: Could you get my handbag, please. I feel a migraine coming on.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
