Big Plans

Me: What are the puppies doing?

Nell: Practising their bearing skills and waiting for Tony. I gave them a sock. David tends to pull.

Me: Well, he is a lot bigger than Harriet.

Nell: I knew this was a bad idea.

Me: What are they going to be bearing?

Nell: Don’t ask. They all embarrassed me yesterday you know.

Me: What happened?

Nell: I was busy Skyping Harry and Meghan when David arrived in a top hat.

Me: A top hat!

Nell: Harriet was only wearing my circlet of flowers thank goodness. Meghan thought they were darlings. Her words.

Me: Where did he get it from?

Nell: My hat lady. She brought over a selection for me to try on and I can only think David charmed his way into a top hat. So then he proceeded to charm Meghan too.

Me: Oh dear. I hope Harry didn’t mind.

Nell: Oh no. He and Harriet hit it off immediately. Same name and similar hair.

Me: Yes.

Nell: It was all going surprisingly well until Poppy walked in with the sword.

Me: I thought it had been confiscated.

Nell: The wretched animal found it and was wearing her St. George’s outfit too.

Me: Oh no!

Nell: I apologised but fortunately they found it entertaining.

Me: What a relief.

Nell: It was, until Mutley started singing. I mean don’t get me wrong. He used to be able to give a fine rendition of “My Way” but since his hearing went he can go off tune.

Me: Were they shocked?

Nell: Not at all. They started dancing.

Me: How lovely of them.

Nell: The puppies joined in and then Poppy started swinging her sword.

Me: Oh no!

Nell: And the next moment she had cut the top off David’s hat.

Me: That’s hilarious.

Nell: Fortunately they thought so too. They were crying with laughter.

Me: I bet they were.

Nell: I had to put a stop to it all.

Me: You did?

Nell: Health and Safety. It could have been David’s head. That sword is going to a charity shop.

Me: Very wise.

Nell: Now the puppies are convinced that they should be the ring bearers.

Me: They would be perfect.

Nell: Don’t be ridiculous. Meghan has enough problems on her plate with that half brother of hers trying to wangle an invitation. I’ve had her on the phone twice already today.

Me: Perhaps the puppies could carry her flowers? Not the bridal bouquet obviously. That would be too risky.

Nell: Risky? Next you’ll be suggesting that Poppy and her sword stand next to Harry.

Me: Now that is risky.

Nell: Enough. My phone’s ringing again.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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