Nell: Do we have to discuss this again?
Me: You have to wear the Comfort Ring, Nell. You’ve got a very sore paw.
Nell: Firstly, whoever called it a Comfort Ring was clearly having a laugh and secondly, I do not need one. You and that vet Emily are wrong.
Me: Don’t call her that vet Emily. She is only doing this for your own good. You mustn’t lick your paw.
Nell: I’m not going to.
Me: When I took it off you immediately licked it.
Nell: Just a momentary lapse in concentration.
Me: You are wearing it. Your health comes first.
Nell: Well, your Aunt Pam was right.
Me: What do you mean?
Nell: Nothing’s so bad it can’t get worse.
Me: Oh dear. Just rest and you will get well soon.
Nell: It seems I have no choice but to endure. Such is a labrador’s life.
Me: Is there anything I can do?
Nell: Poppy and I are teaching the puppies to play Bridge this afternoon. You could provide afternoon tea.
Nell: Remember I like my scones with jam and then cream. I know we live in Devon but the Cornish got that one right.
Nell: And Earl Grey please. None of that herbal nonsense you drink.
Me: Anything else? Champagne, perhaps?
Nell: Dont be ridiculous. I’m on antibiotics.
Me: Yes, sorry.