Me: What are you doing in this photo, Nell?
Nell: Just a little walk along the beach.
Me: You are in the sea.
Nell: Only slightly.
Me: The vet said no swimming.
Nell: I wasn’t swimming. It was paddling. Cooling my paws.
Me: You are very naughty.
Nell: I am not a puppy. There is no need to talk to me like that.
Me: You told me you would listen to the vet.
Nell: My ears remained dry at all times.
Me: I don’t think you should go to the beach at all if you can’t be trusted.
Nell: You cannot deny me the right to fresh air. It is my only joy in life. I live for the beach.
Me: Rubbish.
Nell: They send people to the seaside you know to get well. The salty sea air gives them strength.
Me: I know.
Nell: A labrador cannot live on bread alone.
Me: What are you talking about?
Nell: Anyway, someone threw my ball into the sea.
Me: They did?
Nell: Yes. I am a Labrador retriever. What are we conditioned to do?
Me: Retrieve.
Nell: Just following my instincts.
Me: I suppose so.
Nell: Completely blameless.
Me: I’m not sure that’s true.
Nell: This is making me awfully tired and I am not well.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
