Me: Come downstairs and tell me what I’ve done now. I definitely didn’t mean to.
Nell: I am fine up here.
Me: So what did I do?
Nell: You know there was a grave misunderstanding about my weight a few weeks ago when you were off partying in Portugal.
Me: I know the vet said you needed to lose 2 kilos and I wasn’t partying I was just having a little quiet holiday.
Nell: Without me.
Me: Yes. Anyway what happened?
Nell: You know that I am an athlete and take my daily long and vigorous walks with Kev very seriously.
Me: Well, I know you certainly enjoy your walks and yes I have seen your dedication.
Nell: Exactly. While you were away we were unable to walk as much as usual due to the stress of work and everyday life’and coping alone.
Me: Oh dear. That’s probably why your weight increased.
Nell: But now we are back on track and our split times are excellent.
Me: I’m not sure what they are but I’m sure you are right.
Nell: But this isn’t enough for you. Oh no. You have to put me through the humiliation of a public weigh in.
Me: The scales are in the vet’s waiting room. Anyway, you lost 2 kilos so you are perfect.
Nell: I thought I was always perfect in your eyes.
Me: Yes. Sorry.