Nell: I am not sure I shall ever forgive you.

Me: Come downstairs and tell me what I’ve done now. I definitely didn’t mean to.

Nell: I am fine up here.

Me: So what did I do?

Nell: You know there was a grave misunderstanding about my weight a few weeks ago when you were off partying in Portugal.

Me: I know the vet said you needed to lose 2 kilos and I wasn’t partying I was just having a little quiet holiday.

Nell: Without me.

Me: Yes. Anyway what happened?

Nell: You know that I am an athlete and take my daily long and vigorous walks with Kev very seriously.

Me: Well, I know you certainly enjoy your walks and yes I have seen your dedication.

Nell:  Exactly. While you were away we were unable to walk as much as usual due to the stress of work and everyday life’and coping alone.

Me: Oh dear. That’s probably why your weight increased.

Nell: But now we are back on track and our split times are excellent.

Me: I’m not sure what they are but I’m sure you are right.

Nell: But this isn’t enough for you. Oh no. You have to put me through the humiliation of a public weigh in.

Me: The scales are in the vet’s waiting room. Anyway, you lost 2 kilos so you are perfect.

Nell: I thought I was always perfect in your eyes.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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