Me: It’s a week ago today we said goodbye to you.
Nell: I know. Try not to dwell on it. So, what’s the latest news?
Me: You’re not going to believe this.
Nell: I might.
Me: Guess who turned up at Sunday Songs drunk and disorderly?
Nell: I don’t know.
Me: That wretched lion.
Nell: Lionel King?
Me: Yes, with a matted mane.
Nell: Oh dear.
Me: He’s in a dreadful way, Nell. I almost feel sorry for him.
Nell: Lionel loved me. He’s understandably distraught.
Me: He started crying during Knitwear Wolf’s poem.
Nell: Did Rupert notice?
Me: He went over to Lionel afterwards and comforted him.
Nell: Of course he did. Typical Rupert.
Me: Yes. He’s a kind wolf. I just wish he would stop wearing that hat.
Nell: What hat?
Me: The Italian Mafia hat.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: I think he might have gone over to the other side.
Nell: What?
Me: Rupert’s joined the Mafia.
Nell: Has he started speaking Italian?
Me: Only occasionally.
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: The odd ‘Ciao Bella’ after a bowl of spaghetti bolognese with Dave.
Nell: I thought he wanted to be alone?
Me: He did, but something’s happened.
Nell: Has Sally been down here?
Me: Yes. She came to comfort Dave for a few days.
Nell: Did she see Rupert?
Me: You think Sally suspects Rupert, don’t you?
Nell: I never said that.
Me: You think Rupert has nothing to lose now you’ve gone and he’s thrown caution to the wind and joined the Baddies.
Nell: Have you quite finished?
Me: Just a theory.
Nell: Rupert could never join the Baddies as you call them. He’s an honourable wolf.
Me: What about the Italian hat?
Nell: It’s just a hat. Calm down.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
