Nell: Why is Nigel here again? It’s Wednesday.
Me: He’s a member of the Spaghetti Bolognese Club.
Nell: I know.
Me: Dave thought he might want to join in the preparations for the cream tea.
Nell: What preparations? Herr Hoffmann has Poppy’s recipe for the scones and Frau Hoffmann is making her special strawberry jam.
Me: Someone has to organise the clotted cream.
Nell: Jim the Farm Dog is doing that. He has connections at the Farm Shop, besides Nigel looks tired.
Me: Has the Italian said he’s coming?
Nell: He hasn’t said he isn’t.
Me: How did you invite him?
Nell: We put the invitation in a Tupperware container and left it at the Bus Stop.
Me: Anyone could take it, Nell.
Nell: It says ‘Per il nostro italiano preferito’ on the lid.
Me: What does that mean?
Nell: For our favourite Italian.
Me: What if the Italian is a girl?
Nell: A girl wouldn’t send flowers.
Me: I send flowers.
Nell: Moving on, once we know he’s coming we can start preparing properly.
Me: When is the tea?
Nell: Tomorrow afternoon at 3pm.
Me: Thursday is a funny day for afternoon tea.
Nell: Don’t be ridiculous.
Me: Wouldn’t the weekend be better?
Nell: Italians are far too busy at weekends.
Me: How do you know that?
Nell: Weekends are for friends and family. Everyone knows that.
Me: The Italian is a friend.
Nell: Leave it alone, please. You’re not part of the Management Committee.
Me: Is Nigel?
Nell: He wasn’t, but now I’m thinking he probably is as he’s here.
Me: I’m here.
Nell: Just go away and practice inviting a guest into the kitchen.
Me: I can do that. Should I shake his paw?
Nell: We don’t know if he has paws yet.
Me: You’re right. Sorry.
