Me: Nigel looks distinguished in this photo, doesn’t he?
Nell: Monday is not a Nigel Day.
Me: A Nigel Day?
Nell: Nigel is here at weekends. Not Mondays.
Me: I know. I took this photo at the weekend.
Nell: Weekdays are our days.
Me: Are you getting jealous of Nigel again?
Nell: Just saying.
Me: Is it because he spent most of the weekend in Kev’s study on the bunk bed?
Nell: The bunk beds have been stripped and are airing ready to be made up for the grandchildren.
Me: I know.
Nell: So Nigel can’t sleep in there anymore.
Me: He can still sleep on the floor next to Kev if he wants to.
Nell: Kev and I are the ones with a Special Bond. Not Nigel.
Me: I thought you liked Nigel again? You miss him when he isn’t there.
Nell: I do not.
Me: And by the way, I thought it was you and I who had the Special Bond?
Nell: Relax. Jealousy is most unbecoming.
Me: I can’t believe you said that when you’re clearly jealous of Nigel.
Nell: Moving on, I need you to buy pyjamas.
Me: For the llamas?
Nell: Don’t be silly.
Me: They love their pyjamas, Nell.
Nell: I know. I mean for the family. We always lay out new pyjamas for them when they visit.
Me: Yes, we do.
Nell: I wish the llamas would wear dressing gowns. Prancing around in pyjamas in this weather is madness.
Me: Some might say it was madness in any weather.
Nell: There’s nothing wrong with a quick stroll outside in your pyjamas in the summer months.
Me: Isn’t there?
Nell: But in the winter dressing gowns must be worn.
Me: Maybe the llamas don’t have dressing gowns?
Nell: Now you’re being ridiculous.
Me: Sorry.
