Nell: I need some answers from you, madam.
Me: Oh dear. I know that face. What have I done now?
Nell: Where were you yesterday afternoon?
Me: I went over to Nigel’s house for a cup of tea.
Nell: Was anyone else there?
Me: My sister Charlotte, of course.
Nell: Just Charlotte?
Me: No. Xav the Cat joined us for Fun and Cuddles.
Nell: Fun and Cuddles?
Me: Yes.
Nell: With a cat?
Me: You go over to The Cat’s all the time.
Nell: The Cat is different.
Me: I know The Cat’s different but it’s still a cat.
Nell: And there might be Fun but there are never Cuddles.
Me: Xav is affectionate. He loves to sit on my lap.
Nell: Everyone knows about this betrayal.
Me: What betrayal?
Nell: You came home yesterday absolutely reeking of cat. We had to open the windows. David was shocked to the core. Poor boy.
Me: Stop exaggerating. Dave and I spent a lovely evening cuddling.
Nell: His heart wasn’t really in it. He knew you had gone over to the dark side.
Me: I don’t know why you don’t like cats.
Nell: They’re not to be trusted.
Me: Well, I love cats.
Nell: Don’t expect them to love you back. It’s all show.
Me: No, it isn’t.
Nell: Turn your head and they’ll be pushing your bowl off the table.
Me: Nonsense.
Nell: Show them something new and shiny and they’re off.
Me: That’s not true. Xav is Nigel’s best friend.
Nell: I always knew there was something I didn’t trust about Nigel.
Me: Don’t start all that.
Nell: And now I know. He has a cat as a best friend.
Me: So do you.
Nell: I do not. Dorothy is my best friend. Everyone knows that.
Me: Of course. Sorry.
