Me: Harriet isn’t happy with me.
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: You and the Boy are fine.
Nell: What Boy?
Me: Dave. My Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: We’re all fine.
Me: Harriet isn’t.
Nell: Why wouldn’t she be?
Me: She’s looking at me with her gently reproachful face.
Nell: You’re not supposed to be downstairs yet.
Me: You and Dave aren’t bothered. You’re just interested in the bus stop.
Nell: We’re making sure the children are collected on time. They can’t be late for school.
Me: There’s nothing you can do about it.
Nell: Well, that’s where you’re wrong. Last time it was late we sent out a scout.
Me: A scout?
Nell: Yes.
Me: Do you mean a llama?
Nell: Certainly not. Llamas can’t be trusted to scout out anything. They’re far too skittish.
Me: Was it Knitwear Wolf? He’s not skittish.
Nell: Rupert is busy delivering the newspapers and dropping off cardigans in the mornings.
Me: So who was the scout? Was it you?
Nell: Are you serious? It takes me half an hour to walk up the lane nowadays.
Me: True.
Nell: It was Henry and Horst, if you must know, ably assisted by Walter Pigeon.
Me: The perfect team.
Nell: Exactly. Henry flew out on Walter’s hat and was able to inform Horst the bus had broken down.
Me: Using Louse Code?
Nell: Obviously. Then Horst told David.
Me: Because he has keen ears and can actually hear what a woodlouse is saying?
Nell: Exactly. And then David told Harriet and she told me and I told Kev and he told the village.
Me: Why didn’t you tell me?
Nell: You were upstairs writing.
Me: You could still have told me.
Nell: Go back upstairs, please, and let us do our job.
Me: Sorry.
