Nell: Have you seen David?
Me: Yes, I most certainly have.
Nell: That’s a rather grumpy way of putting it.
Me: Have you seen Harriet?
Nell: She and David just got back from their morning walk so she’s probably resting somewhere.
Me: You mean hiding.
Nell: Hiding? Is someone chasing her?
Me: They soon will be.
Nell: You’re extremely out of sorts this morning, aren’t you? Where’s David?
Me: Dave is upstairs lying on the floor next to my bed with his paws against the wall refusing to talk to me.
Nell: Why on earth is he doing that?
Me: Because he knows he and Harriet have been very bad animals.
Nell: What have they done?
Me: You know we’ve been getting Charlotte’s room ready for when she comes out of hospital?
Nell: Yes, of course I do. Frau Hoffman ironed the sheets.
Me: She did.
Nell: And she put a lovely coverlet on the top and lots of comfortable cushions and pillows so it’s perfect for her.
Me: It’s not perfect anymore.
Nell: What happened?
Me: Dave and Harriet happened.
Nell: What have they done?
Me: They ran upstairs after their walk with muddy coats and rolled around on the bed.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: They even threw the pillows around.
Nell: That’s completely unacceptable,
Me: I agree. We’re going to have wash everything all over again.
Nell: Frau Hoffmann is not going to be pleased.
Me: I’m not pleased.
Nell: I’m afraid it’s The Clean Bed Syndrome.
Me: What?
Nell: It happens to us all at one time or another.
Me: Does it?
Nell: Yes. It’s an irresistible urge to roll around on a freshly clean bed.
Me: I’ve never had that urge in my life.
Nell: You’re not a Labrador.
Me: No. You’re right. Sorry.
