Me: Good morning, Nell.
Nell: Good morning.
Me: Is there a reason why you three are looking guilty?
Nell: I’m not looking guilty.
Me: No, you’re looking defiant which is as good as guilty when it comes to you.
Nell: Nonsense.
Me: Dave and Harriet look like they wish the ground would open up and swallow them whole.
Nell: Calm down. It was only a few sandwiches.
Me: What?
Nell: Let’s just say that an animal, or three, found themselves to be starving hungry in the middle of the night.
Me: The middle of the night?
Nell: Around 11:30pm, to be exact.
Me: Go on.
Nell: And let’s just say there were leftover sandwiches in the refrigerator.
Me: And fairy cakes.
Nell: And a couple of very small cakes.
Me: Which I was saving for today.
Nell: Which might have been meant for another day.
Me: Continue.
Nell: And the largest of the animals ate one by mistake.
Me: Only the largest?
Nell: And shared the rest with his beloved sister and ailing aunt.
Me: Ailing aunt?
Nell: I have arthritis.
Me: It doesn’t mean you need feeding again at 11:30pm.
Nell: David likes to share and it was hard to refuse.
Me: I know my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy can Eat by Mistake but you and Harriet know exactly what you’re doing.
Nell: We were hungry.
Me: No, you weren’t. You were greedy.
Nell: We’re Labradors. What can I say?
Me: That’s true. It can’t be easy.
Nell: It isn’t.
Me: Did you enjoy your midnight snack?
Nell: It was 11:30pm.
Me: Don’t push me.
Nell: Yes, we did, although we obviously regret it now.
Me: Only because it’s gone.
Nell: Are bacon sandwiches still on the cards?
Me: No.
Nell: But it’s Saturday.
Me: Absolutely not. Sorry.
