Nell: We need to keep a closer eye on Nigel.
Me: Why?
Nell: He’s stolen David’s favourite old tea towel.
Me: Dave has hundreds of the horrible things. Surely he can spare one for Nigel?
Nell: Nigel doesn’t even like tea towels. He did it for Badness.
Me: Nonsense. Nigel is Naughty but he isn’t Bad.
Nell: He’s showing signs of Badness. It’s the Fame. All this Sherlock Bones nonsense has gone to his head.
Me: He’s only famous in the village. Nobody knows he’s Dr Watson otherwise.
Nell: Haven’t you read today’s Daily Growl?
Me: Not yet. I’ve been writing,
Nell: We’re all over it.
Me: We are?
Nell: Yes.
Me: Even me?
Nell: No. Not you. Thank goodness. Why you had to wear your all-encasing hat to Sunday Songs I will never know.
Me: I wanted to go incognito.
Nell: David ate the front of it.
Me: Nobody noticed.
Nell: True. They were far too busy noticing the Daily Growl taking endless photos of us.
Me: They certainly took a lot.
Nell: There’s a whole feature on us. Look.
Me: ‘The stars of Stephen Seagull’s latest blockbuster ‘Sherlock Bones and The Handsome Hound’ were spotted enjoying Sunday Songs in a quiet little Devon village.’
Nell: We were supposed to pretend we didn’t know they were going to be there.
Me: You look smart but you don’t look Knowing.
Nell: Nigel is wearing a moustache and a bowler hat.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: Exactly. He’s dressed as Dr Watson.
Me: That is a little Knowing.
Nell: Yes, it is.
Me: I didn’t know Stephen Seagull had made other blockbusters.
Nell: He hasn’t, but that’s not the point.
Me: No, of course not.
Nell: As I said before, we need to keep a closer eye on Nigel.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
