Nell: Those are lovely photos of you and Charlotte.
Me: Yes, they have a proper sisterly feel to them, don’t they?
Nell: I’m so glad you live near to each other now.
Me: So are we. Especially after losing Alex. Sisters are precious things.
Nell: David would agree.
Me: Yes. Dave adores his big sister Harriet.
Nell: Nigel’s written a poem for Charlotte’s birthday.
Me: That’s sweet of him.
Nell: The poem is incorrect.
Me: Don’t be judgmental, Nell. We can’t all be expert poets like you.
Nell: I’m talking about the substance, not style, although it lacks a little je ne sais quoi.
Me: I didn’t know you spoke French.
Nell: Of course I speak French. Have you forgotten my time in Paris as an artist’s muse?
Me: I don’t even know what to say to that.
Nell: Then don’t. My point is Nigel is making false claims.
Me: Just read the poem to me.
Nell: Fine.
‘Naughty Nigel’s my name,
As you might already know.
I’m not much of a poet
But I’m giving it a very good go,
Because today someone special
Has a birthday, you see,
And that someone special
Means the world to me.
Her name is Charlotte,
Some call her Barley,
Or Lottie, or Tots
And occasionally Charlie.
The best thing about this,
Which I’m happy to say,
Is I can do no wrong
Because it’s Barley’s birthday. ‘
Me: I love it.
Nell: He most definitely can do wrong. It’s not his birthday.
Me: Barley could pass it on to him.
Nell: You can’t transfer your birthday powers. Doing no wrong is only for the person having the birthday.
Me: Well, I like Nigel’s interpretation.
Nell: But he’s coming to tea with her. Anything could happen. He was naughty before.
Me: You’re right. Sorry.
