Nell: What are you doing out of bed? You’re still very unwell.
Me: I heard you calling and thought it might be for me.
Nell: I’ve asked Nigel to come downstairs repeatedly and he refuses to cooperate.
Me: Did you explain why, or was it just an order?
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: Not everyone likes to be ordered around, Nell. Sometimes they need to know why they should be doing something.
Nell: I am the Senior Labrador here. If I need Nigel to come downstairs he should obey.
Me: But why do you need him?
Nell: If you must know, complaints have been made about Excessive Barking and I’m conducting an investigation.
Me: Well, that’s different. I’m on your side. The barking has been dreadful.
Nell: Harriet has already been questioned and found guilty but we know others were involved.
Me: We?
Nell: The Investigating Panel.
Me: The Investigating Panel is you, isn’t it?
Nell: Why would you say that?
Me: Is anyone else on it?
Nell: Not at present, but they could be.
Me: We need to know why Nigel isn’t coming downstairs.
Nell: He can’t stay up there for ever. He’ll miss Sunday Songs and Sunday roast.
Me: I’m afraid I’m going to miss those, too.
Nell: You have a good excuse, and you won’t miss your roast. David will bring it upstairs on a tray.
Me: I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Nell. He struggles with delivering food in one piece.
Nell: He’s the only one who can carry two plates.
Me: I only need one.
Nell: The other’s for your sister Charlotte. She’s caught Chris’s cold, too, and is in the guest room.
Me: That’s why Nigel won’t go downstairs.
Nell: Of course.
Me: Sherlock Martin strikes again.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: Sorry.
