Nell: Have you seen David?
Me: Why?
Nell: He’s supposed to be outside counting Beefies and there’s no sign of him.
Me: I’m sure he’ll be back soon.
Nell: From where?
Me: Wherever he is.
Nell: You know where he is, don’t you?
Me: Why is he counting Beefies?
Nell: Because we’ve noticed an increase in seagulls and this isn’t a seagull sort of village.
Me: I heard seagulls when I was in London.
Nell: Stop changing the subject. Where is he?
Me: Who?
Nell: David. He’s asleep in the living room, isn’t he?
Me: Why would you say that?
Nell: He’s done this before. When he gets past ten he has to have a lie down.
Me: Counting is tiring.
Nell: He has a bowl and some biscuits. We’ve made it as easy as we can.
Me: What do you mean?
Nell: Every time he sees a seagull he places a biscuit in his bowl.
Me: Right.
Nell: At the end of his shift all the biscuits are counted and he can eat them.
Me: At the end of his shift?
Nell: Yes.
Me: How long is his shift?
Nell: Only a couple of hours.
Me: He can’t manage that long, Nell. He gets tired ever so easily. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: David gets tired when his tummy is full.
Me: That too.
Nell: The bowl was empty.
Me: He probably didn’t see any seagulls.
Nell: Can you hear anything?
Me: It’s just bird song. I love it.
Nell: That’s not bird song. It’s Beefy screeching and nobody loves it.
Me: I do. I grew up listening to the sound of seagulls.
Nell: This is not a seagull sort of village. Where are the biscuits and where is David?
Me: He’s asleep in the living room. Sorry.
