Nell: I’m starting to think you might be right.
Me: That makes a change. Right about what?
Nell: David. I’m not at all sure he can keep a secret.
Me: Why? What’s happened?
Nell: Tony arrived and the first thing David did was jump into his arms and tell him he was going to fry bacon for the Beefies.
Me: Well, he is.
Nell: And then he told him he was going to wear a jaunty hat and an apron with a seagull on it like Lionel King.
Me: He’s going to do that, too.
Nell: And finally he whispered ‘I’m actually going to be hiding Henry under my hat.’
Me: He probably shouldn’t have said that.
Nell: No.
Me: I didn’t even know that.
Nell: You do now.
Me: Only because you told me.
Nell: David told Tony.
Me: How do you know that?
Nell: Harriet heard him. She’s a real spy.
Me: Why did she tell you?
Nell: Because I’m David’s sponsor.
Me: Sponsor?
Nell: I’m there to support him if it all becomes too much.
Me: Shouldn’t Sally be doing that?
Nell: Sally is far too busy running the secret service.
Me: She shouldn’t have put Dave in this position. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Making a mistake before he’s even started.
Nell: It’s fine. Tony is trustworthy. He won’t tell anyone. The only reason I know is because Harriet was there.
Me: Why isn’t Harriet frying bacon? She’d cope much better with all the subterfuge.
Nell: Harriet has other fish to fry.
Me: She could easily pop a bit of bacon in, too.
Nell: I’m talking metaphorically.
Me: Talking of fish. I’m surprised it’s not mackerel they’re selling.
Nell: Beefy Mackerel Baps are far too niche. Oily fish isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
Me: No. Sorry.
