Me: Dave is actually the size of a small pony.
Nell: I know.
Me: It’s no wonder there’s hardly any room for me in my own bed.
Nell: I don’t know why you’re bringing this up now. David’s always been humongous.
Me: Yes. He was twice the size of the other puppies.
Nell: And Harriet was half the size.
Me: Do you know why they’ve swapped shifts?
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: The Keeping an Eye on Sara shifts. Harriet used to do the night shifts but now it’s Dave.
Nell: David felt you would benefit from Night Time Cuddles.
Me: I’m not sure he’s right.
Nell: Why?
Me: A wet nose in your face in the middle of the night and a giant Labrador sitting on you in the early morning doesn’t actually help.
Nell: Doesn’t it?
Me: No, Harriet was much more careful.
Nell: David doesn’t do careful.
Me: I’ll tell you what though, his camel riding is impressive.
Nell: I agree. All Three Kings did well. Unlike Mary.
Me: I don’t think Gladys and the donkey got on.
Nell: Steve’s not a fan of fluff and that’s all a Pomeranian is.
Me: Nonsense. There’s much more to Gladys than her hair.
Nell: The llamas shouldn’t have interfered.
Me: They were worried she might fall off.
Nell: Mary didn’t ride into Bethlehem on a llama.
Me: Well, she did in our version of the nativity.
Nell: And did we need an interpretive dance?
Me: I liked it.
Nell: Moving on, the kitchen smells disgusting this morning and it’s your fault.
Me: Why?
Nell: Herr Hoffmann is pickling fish and red cabbage for Christmas.
Me: I see.
Nell: Apparently, your sister loves German red cabbage with her turkey and you love pickled fish.
Me: I really do. Sorry.
