Me: I think something, or someone, might have upset Dave.
Nell: Why?
Me: Because he’s sitting in my old armchair with an Unusually Annoyed expression on his face.
Nell: In your old armchair?
Me: Yes.
Nell: Staring at you?
Me: Yes.
Nell: What did you do to annoy David?
Me: Me?
Nell: It takes a lot to upset him, so it has to be something really bad.
Me: I would never do anything to upset Dave. He’s my Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: Well, you must have said something. Think. What were you doing just now?
Me: I was talking to Kev about my armchair.
Nell: Your armchair?
Me: Yes.
Nell: The one you share with David?
Me: Yes.
Nell: The one he’s sitting in right now?
Me: Yes.
Nell: The one I sleep in at night?
Me: Yes.
Nell: What did you say?
Me: That it was getting rather old and saggy.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: And if we had the money after the sale I might need to get a new one.
Nell: I can’t believe this.
Me: With more support for my back.
Nell: And the old armchair?
Me: It would have to go.
Nell: This is outrageous.
Me: Nothing lasts for ever.
Nell: Our chair would have to go?
Me: Why are you looking at me like that?
Nell: Discarded and abandoned like an old piece of furniture.
Me: It is an old piece of furniture.
Nell: All the years of support cast aside for something new and bouncy.
Me: I didn’t say bouncy.
Nell: Out with the old. In with the new.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: Am I next?
Me: Maybe we could keep it as the dog chair if there’s enough room?
Nell: Maybe you should tell David that?
Me: Yes. Sorry.
