Me: I’m afraid there’s lots to do this morning so you and Dave can’t stay under the table.
Nell: Ignore her, David. She’ll go away soon.
Me: Pretending to be asleep isn’t going to help, Nell. I know you can hear me.
Nell: Just keep your eyes firmly closed.
Me: We have a viewing at lunchtime and the house needs to be ready.
Nell: Stay steadfast, David.
Me: I know afternoon tea was a bit of a disaster but today is another day.
Nell: If necessary she can clean around us.
Me: Pretending you can’t hear someone is very rude.
Nell: Fine. David’s too heavy, anyway.
Me: I understand how tired you are but we really need to make the house look as good as we can.
Nell: Before we’re driven out into the cold and rain.
Me: It won’t come to that, Nell. We’ll find somewhere else to live.
Nell: I meant today.
Me: Oh, I see. Well, the good news is dogs are allowed back on the beach.
Nell: I hope you’re not going to suggest a picnic. I don’t think I could face another nut sandwich.
Me: It was peanut butter and jelly. Herr Hoffmann thought Nutkin might like it.
Nell: Who puts jelly in a sandwich?
Me: He didn’t realise jelly meant jam.
Nell: And on a scone?
Me: That was awful. Thank goodness your friend Dorothy had a pot of real jam in her handbag.
Nell: She never goes anywhere without it.
Me: What was she doing at afternoon tea?
Nell: She was supporting Nigel.
Me: The Cat shouldn’t have been there, either.
Nell: Neither should the Welsh Corgi Choir and the Whippets Institute Big Band.
Me: No. It did get a little out of paw.
Nell: No wonder I’m exhausted today.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
