Me: Harriet’s sleeping under the kitchen table.
Nell: No, she isn’t.
Me: She’s fast asleep, Nell.
Nell: That’s what she wants you to think. Harriet is the mistress of Subtle Sleeping.
Me: Subtle Sleeping?
Nell: We all do it. Some more successfully than others.
Me: Dave doesn’t do it.
Nell: Of course he does. David just forgets the Subtle part after a while.
Me: And starts snoring?
Nell: Exactly.
Me: I’ve often wondered how you can all jump awake if there’s food around.
Nell: Not only food.
Me: I swear you can hear a packet of biscuits being opened from the back of the garden.
Nell: We don’t eat shop bought biscuits.
Me: You know what I mean.
Nell: Talking of biscuits, do you think the Welsh Corgi Choir can cope without them today?
Me: They always have biscuits with their tea after Sunday Songs.
Nell: I know, but we’ve run out and Herr Hoffmann’s too busy with the Sunday roast to make any new ones.
Me: How can we have run out?
Nell: It seems we have a biscuit thief in our house.
Me: It’s not Dave, is it?
Nell: David says he is innocent.
Me: It might have been by mistake.
Nell: The third boiled egg was a mistake.
Me: Who can it be?
Nell: I have no idea. We shall have to see who isn’t hungry at lunchtime.
Me: That’s not going to work, Nell. Nobody’s going to turn down roast beef, roast potatoes, cauliflower cheese, Yorkshire puddings and lashings of gravy.
Nell: No they aren’t.
Me: Maybe that’s why Harriet is under the kitchen table? Maybe she’s waiting to catch the thief?
Nell: Yes, although there is another option.
Me: What?
Nell: Maybe Harriet is the thief herself?
Me: Harriet a thief? No. That’s impossible. Sorry.
