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Broken Rolls, Beautiful Boys and Seagirls

Me: Look at my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He’s completely irresistible.

Nell: I’m afraid he’s finding fresh rolls every morning irresistible too.

Me: We all are.

Nell: Do you know Herr Hoffmann is even feeding the Beefies?

Me: Seriously?

Nell: I’m surprised you haven’t heard them calling for him.

Me: I thought it was just their general hullabaloo.

Nell: No, it’s all ‘Come out Bear Hoffmann!’

Me: Who?

Nell: That’s what they call him.

Me: I rather like Bear Hoffmann.

Nell: Well, yes we all do.

Me: No, I mean the name. It suits him.

Nell: Anyway, they line up and call him and he gives them the leftover rolls.

Me: I’m surprised there are any left with Dave around.

Nell: He says they’re the broken ones.

Me: I suppose he’s right. The Beefies are a bit broken if you think about it. Maybe showing them a little kindness is the way to go.

Nell: I’m talking about broken rolls, not Beefies.

Me: They told us he was with Sir Roger Blubbery and it wasn’t a lie.

Nell: True.

Me: So sharing a few rolls with them seems fair enough to me.

Nell: Perhaps.

Me: You never know the Beefies might just turn over a new leaf.

Nell: They’re going to struggle with that. It’s autumn. All the leaves are dying.

Me: You know what I mean.

Nell: He has a name for them too, by the way.

Me: Who?

Nell: The Beefies. He calls them his ‘little seagirls.’

Me: But most of them are boys.

Nell: I know. He must have misheard it.

Me: I might start calling them that myself.

Nell: I wouldn’t if I were you.

Me: Stephen Seagirl isn’t going to like it, is he? See what I did there?

Nell: Just stop.

Me: Sorry.

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