Me: Our visit to the river was a little more stressful than I’d imagined.
Nell: Why did you have to make such a fuss?
Me: Why did you all have to go down such a steep river bank. What’s wrong with your usual place?
Nell: It wasn’t that steep.
Me: Leaving me all alone at the top with Poppy.
Nell: Poppy didn’t want to be with you either.
Me: I know she didn’t. She started climbing down and I kept telling her to stop because I was holding her lead.
Nell: We know. We heard you. Kev was trying to take a soothing video of the river and all we could hear in the background was you shouting.
Me: Poppy was dragging me down the bank.
Nell: Nonsense. She’s a small Maltese cross and you’re a grown woman.
Me: When has that ever stopped her?
Me: And you aren’t supposed to be climbing things.
Nell: It was no bother at all. Slow and steady.
Me: Even Kev got stuck.
Nell: Until David pulled him out.
Me: He did, didn’t he? Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Just like a shire horse.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: You know the horses with the big hairy feet?
Nell: David may have big feet but he is not a horse.
Me: Kev held on to his lead and Dave just pulled him up the bank. It was amazing.
Nell: David likes to be helpful.
Me: Yes. I think Knitwear Wolf has been a good influence on him.
Nell: Rupert is very kind.
Me: He’s like a stepfather to Dave and Harriet.
Nell: I’m not so sure about that.
Me: Or a Canadian wolf uncle.
Nell: Wolf uncle?
Me: Everyone needs one of those.
Nell: Have you quite finished?
Me: Yes. Sorry.