Favouritism is Frowned Upon

Me: Harriet seems a little tired this morning.

Nell: She’s on night duty. The hours can get to you after a while.

Me: You do know she sleeps too, don’t you? She’s not watching me all the time.

Nell: I think you’ll find she is. Harriet is very good at looking as if she’s asleep. It’s one of the skills we Labradors develop from quite an early age.

Me: She was snoring.

Nell: Clever little thing.

Me: And taking up most of the bed.

Nell: She’s been told to monitor you closely.

Me: Jim the Farm Dog has been out in the fields with the sheep since first thing.

Nell: He works hard.

Me: I think Harriet would rather be walking the fields with Jim than lying here with me.

Nell: We all have to make sacrifices. I had to cancel Book Club.

Me: Why?

Nell: I can’t be expected to discuss books with an invalid in the house.

Me: I’m not an invalid. I’ve just hurt my back. And I love talking about books.

Nell: You’re not invited.

Me: That’s a bit harsh.

Nell: Book Club isn’t open to everyone, you know. It’s very difficult to be accepted. Pamela has been trying for years.

Me: Pamela the Pyrenean Mountain Dog who commented on your weight at the vets?

Nell: Yes.

Me: I can see why she might not be on the list but you could make an exception for me.

Nell: Favouritism is frowned upon.

Me: What book were you supposed to be discussing?

Nell: ‘Meals I Ate By Mistake’ by David Martin.

Me: Our Dave? My Big Brave Beautiful Boy?

Nell: Yes.

Me: If that’s not Favouritism then I don’t know what is.

Nell: It’s a bestseller and was chosen by a majority vote.

Me: I see. Sorry.

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