Me: My little pocketful of happiness today is sitting in bed looking out at the sun on the fields with Harriet.

Nell: It’s a really beautiful day.

Me: And in contrast my other view is of my black clothes for the funeral hanging on the wardrobe with a selection of scarves as Alex loved bright colours.

Nell: She did.

Me: I don’t know which scarf to choose.

Nell: Any of them will be fine.

Me: It has to be the right one.

Nell: There isn’t a wrong one.

Me: I just want to look my best for her.

Nell: I know you do. Why don’t you put your funeral clothes on later with the various scarves and we will decide on one together?

Me: That’s a good idea.

Nell: Yes, so no need to think about it now. Just try and relax a little and enjoy the sunshine.

Me: I think I’m probably going to choose the flowery scarf.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: That’s a strange saying, isn’t it? Because there’s nothing good at all about grief.

Nell: I think you’re wrong. Grief is just love with nowhere to go.

Me: But it hurts so much, Nell.

Nell: I know and it’s right that it does.

Me: I suppose so.

Nell: That’s why you need to be kind to yourself at the moment.

Me: Yes.

Nell: And why finding those pocketfuls of happiness is so important.

Me: Yes.

Nell: So, how about a nice cup of tea and some hot buttered toast?

Me: That sounds good.

Nell: Saturday Kitchen is on television later and we can all watch it together. It’s David’s favourite programme.

Me: Alex loved Saturday Kitchen too.

Nell: Yes, she did. You can do this you know. I’m sure of it.

Me: Yes, I can. Thank you.

2 thoughts on “Contrasts

  1. Thank you for this line – Grief is just love with nowhere to go. It helps a little to put my feelings into perspective

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