Me: Can I begin by saying a huge thank you to everyone who supported us? It really does mean a lot.
Nell: David and I would particularly like to thank Brody, a black Labrador from Ohio, who asked for the money to be used for bacon sandwiches.
Me: Yes, I’m not sure Dave is going to stick to his diet.
Nell: A Labrador can’t be expected to cope without bacon.
Me: You’re right. Now, I wonder if I could ask you a favour?
Nell: Ask away.
Me: When I’m taking photos of you, like now on the beach in this glorious sunshine…
Nell: It is truly glorious.
Me: Could you perhaps try and smile a little?
Nell: I don’t do smiles. I leave that sort of things to the llamas.
Me: They are an awfully smiley lot. Bless them.
Nell: Or that dreadful hyena Mr Giggles.
Me: Nobody needs to see him smile. Could you just not look so grumpy?
Nell: I’m not grumpy.
Me: Try and pretend I’m Kev. You’re always giving him loving looks. I just get a hard stare.
Nell: You need a firm paw. Always have done.
Me: Tracey says I’m a delight.
Nell: Tracey would. She doesn’t know you.
Me: Don’t you think I’m a delight then?
Nell: You can be. I also think you have far too much imagination for your own good and sometimes get carried away and lose your grasp on reality.
Me: I wonder where those Beefies got their 99’s from?
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: I could just do with an ice cream.
Nell: This is exactly what I was talking about.
Me: No. Look at them flying around showing off with ice cream faces.
Nell: Those aren’t 99’s. Stop embellishing. They are simple cornets.
Me: Oh yes. Sorry.