David is a little Previous

Me: Dave’s wearing his top hat already and the Birthday Ball isn’t until this evening.

Nell: Yes, I’m afraid David is a little previous.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He and Harriet have been waiting by the window for ages.

Nell: They want to be the first to greet the guests.

Me: Bless them.

Nell: Now, I’ve something important to tell you but it mustn’t affect your behaviour this evening.

Me: What is it?

Nell: The Stuffed Tiger received another postcard.

Me: Gosh. What did it say?

Nell: ‘See you later, alligator.’

Me: Was it signed ‘Crocodile’?

Nell: Of course not. It was signed ‘A Friend’.

Me: Does that mean what I think it means?

Nell: I don’t know unless you tell me.

Me: A Friend is coming to the Ball.

Nell: Yes.

Me: Oh my goodness. Hang on to your pearls.

Nell: I don’t have any, remember? Miss Maple and Sally are fully aware and measures are being put in place.

Me: Are we going to be armed?

Nell: Certainly not. Apart from Poppy and Maple who are never without their swords.

Me: That’s a relief.

Nell: There will be a lot of filming, however.

Me: Yes, Our Penguin told me. He’s going to stream it later on YouChewed. I’m so glad Sir Roger and Princess are back.

Nell: They’d better not clap their way through the whole proceedings.

Me: It’s a seal thing.

Nell: Anyway, I was actually referring to secret filming.

Me: How exciting.

Nell: Henry and Horst have been busy with their surveillance team and Hope and Leo will be wearing cameras on their hats.

Me: I’ll make sure I have a nice smile then.

Nell: Please don’t. You look like you‘re in pain. Try and act normally, if that’s even possible.

Me: Yes. Sorry.