Me: Dave’s wearing his top hat already and the Birthday Ball isn’t until this evening.
Nell: Yes, I’m afraid David is a little previous.
Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He and Harriet have been waiting by the window for ages.
Nell: They want to be the first to greet the guests.
Me: Bless them.
Nell: Now, I’ve something important to tell you but it mustn’t affect your behaviour this evening.
Me: What is it?
Nell: The Stuffed Tiger received another postcard.
Me: Gosh. What did it say?
Nell: ‘See you later, alligator.’
Me: Was it signed ‘Crocodile’?
Nell: Of course not. It was signed ‘A Friend’.
Me: Does that mean what I think it means?
Nell: I don’t know unless you tell me.
Me: A Friend is coming to the Ball.
Me: Oh my goodness. Hang on to your pearls.
Nell: I don’t have any, remember? Miss Maple and Sally are fully aware and measures are being put in place.
Me: Are we going to be armed?
Nell: Certainly not. Apart from Poppy and Maple who are never without their swords.
Me: That’s a relief.
Nell: There will be a lot of filming, however.
Me: Yes, Our Penguin told me. He’s going to stream it later on YouChewed. I’m so glad Sir Roger and Princess are back.
Nell: They’d better not clap their way through the whole proceedings.
Me: It’s a seal thing.
Nell: Anyway, I was actually referring to secret filming.
Me: How exciting.
Nell: Henry and Horst have been busy with their surveillance team and Hope and Leo will be wearing cameras on their hats.
Me: I’ll make sure I have a nice smile then.
Nell: Please don’t. You look like you‘re in pain. Try and act normally, if that’s even possible.
Me: Yes. Sorry.