Nell: I have Good News and Bad News. Which would you like to hear first?
Me: Good News, please, and I’m really hoping it’s that Lionel and that dreadful elderly hyena are leaving. I nearly had a heart attack when I bumped into it in the kitchen.
Nell: I know Mr Giggles is a little off putting at first but you need to see past the exterior.
Me: He’s terrifying, Nell, and that laugh.
Nell: It is rather annoying. Anyway, the Good News is that Kev is coming home today.
Me: That’s wonderful.
Nell: PC Panda had the photos analysed and they are clearly fakes.
Me: I could have told him that.
Nell: The Daily Growl is going to print an apology and all posters have been removed from town.
Nell: Several Beefies are also helping the police with their inquiries.
Me: Even better.
Nell: Yes. Kev should be back by lunchtime.
Me: Has Knitwear Wolf gone to get him on his motorbike?
Nell: No. Lionel is sending Mr Giggles in his car.
Me: Is that the Bad News?
Nell: No. Mr Giggles has collected Kev before. He even lent him his chauffeur’s hat.
Me: What’s the Bad News then?
Nell: I’m afraid we’ve had to delay the Birthday Ball.
Me: That’s fine.
Nell: We can’t have a Ball with all this nonsense going on.
Me: I don’t mind a low key birthday. When you get to my age you’re just thankful to be alive.
Nell: Good grief. You’re only going to be 64, not 104.
Me: I know. I think the past few months have taken the oomph out of me.
Nell: Well, we need to get your oomph back and quickly. Kev will be home soon and Poppy is making a celebratory lunch.
Me: Yes. Sorry.