A Trojan Tiger

Nell: You’re not going to believe this.

Me: I just might.

Nell: There’s a large tiger on the sofa downstairs next to Poppy.

Me: I know Beauregard is a large tiger, Nell. He doesn’t visit us often but he’s always welcome.

Nell: It’s not Beauregard.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Quite.

Me: I’m not sure we have room for another tiger. We’re already hosting a lion.

Nell: It’s taking up the whole of David’s sofa, apart from Poppy’s cushion.

Me: Is Poppy bothered by it?

Nell: No. She’s decided to ignore it completely. It stretched out its paw to try and knock her off but she’s not moving.

Me: Good for her.

Nell: It’s not moving either, however.

Me: A stubborn tiger then.

Nell: David has tried reasoning with it.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: He’s explained that sofas are for sharing in this house.

Me: Exactly.

Nell: But the tiger is still refusing to move.

Me: How rude.

Nell: Or do anything at all to be honest.

Me: Do we know where it’s come from?

Nell: No. It arrived this morning while we were eating breakfast.

Me: I’ve just had an awful thought.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: Do you think it might be a Trojan Tiger?

Nell: I don’t know its nationality.

Me: Is it actually real?

Nell: Of course it’s real. It’s sitting in the sofa.

Me: I mean living and breathing real.

Nell: I see. Well, it hasn’t actually said or done anything.

Me: Could it be stuffed?

Nell: It might have overindulged I suppose. It is Christmas.

Me: No, like a soft toy.

Nell: You mean someone has sent us a toy tiger?

Me: Yes, but who and why and what’s inside?

Nell: I need a cup of Earl Grey now.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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