Nell: Welcome to December.
Me: Are you three doing that hypnotising thing again?
Nell: What are you talking about?
Me: You’re all staring at me and I haven’t even got any food.
Nell: What’s that supposed to mean?
Me: Be honest. It’s usually the food you’re really staring at. You are Labradors after all.
Nell: Nonsense. Aren’t we allowed to look at you anymore?
Me: Not like that. I mean you’re giving me your usual vaguely disapproving and slightly exasperated look so that’s not unexpected.
Nell: Good grief.
Me: But Harriet is positively scary. She’s like a villain in a movie. I wouldn’t be surprised if she said ‘I’ve been expecting you, Mr Bond.’
Nell: Don’t be ridiculous.
Me: And as for my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy, he might be trying to look fierce but actually he just looks a bit tired and emotional.
Nell: I’m afraid you’re letting your imagination run away with you again and you have far too much of it already.
Me: Harriet is definitely up to something. Is it about me calling her Christine? Only I have apologised.
Nell: No. It has nothing to do with Christine and please don’t start that again.
Me: Is Harriet playing the villain in the pantomime?
Nell: What pantomime?
Me: There’s usually one somewhere at Christmas.
Nell: Yes, there is one near here but your friend Anne is in it, not Harriet.
Me: Well, there must be a reason. Harriet would never look like that normally.
Nell: There have been rumours of a Beefy attack, if you must know.
Me: Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?
Nell: We don’t want you overreacting.
Me: Is it imminent?
Nell: Possibly. Harriet and David are on high alert.
Me: I think Dave might be falling asleep. Sorry.