Labrador Looks

Nell: Welcome to December.

Me: Are you three doing that hypnotising thing again?

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: You’re all staring at me and I haven’t even got any food.

Nell: What’s that supposed to mean?

Me: Be honest. It’s usually the food you’re really staring at. You are Labradors after all.

Nell: Nonsense. Aren’t we allowed to look at you anymore?

Me: Not like that. I mean you’re giving me your usual vaguely disapproving and slightly exasperated look so that’s not unexpected.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: But Harriet is positively scary. She’s like a villain in a movie. I wouldn’t be surprised if she said ‘I’ve been expecting you, Mr Bond.’

Nell: Don’t be ridiculous.

Me: And as for my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy, he might be trying to look fierce but actually he just looks a bit tired and emotional.

Nell: I’m afraid you’re letting your imagination run away with you again and you have far too much of it already.

Me: Harriet is definitely up to something. Is it about me calling her Christine? Only I have apologised.

Nell: No. It has nothing to do with Christine and please don’t start that again.

Me: Is Harriet playing the villain in the pantomime?

Nell: What pantomime?

Me: There’s usually one somewhere at Christmas.

Nell: Yes, there is one near here but your friend Anne is in it, not Harriet.

Me: Well, there must be a reason. Harriet would never look like that normally.

Nell: There have been rumours of a Beefy attack, if you must know.

Me: Why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?

Nell: We don’t want you overreacting.

Me: Is it imminent?

Nell: Possibly. Harriet and David are on high alert.

Me: I think Dave might be falling asleep. Sorry.

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