Nell: Why do you keep calling my iBone? The Sword Awareness Course is just about to begin and all phones are supposed to be switched off.
Me: Dave asked me to. He’s feeling all lost and abandoned. Poor darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. You should see his little face.
Nell: Tell David to stop that right now. He’s just attention seeking.
Me: He had a cold breakfast, Nell.
Nell: Don’t talk to me about cold. Zooming up the M5 in a motorbike sidecar with just a poncho for protection is not exactly first class travel you know.
Me: He’s missing you all terribly.
Nell: We only left a few hours ago and we’re coming back this evening. All being well.
Me: What do you mean by that?
Nell: Let’s just say there are a few too many swords around for my liking.
Me: Are there any big cats?
Nell: A couple of rather large Maine Coons are running the course and some of the Siamese could do with losing a little weight but most seem fairly normal sized. Why?
Me: I wondered if a certain lion might be involved.
Nell: Honestly, you’re obsessed with Lionel King.
Me: I know what he’s like, Nell. He’s a very bad lion.
Nell: Just calm down. Rupert is here with me. Nothing is going to happen.
Me: How’s Poppy?
Nell: She made quite an impression when she arrived in her pirate’s hat and cloak.
Me: I thought she might.
Nell: She wasn’t the only one wearing a hat, however.
Nell: An extremely feisty Dachshund calling herself Miss Maple turned up in a tiara.
Me: What did Poppy think about that?
Nell: They are firm friends already.
Me: It takes feistiness to know feistiness.
Nell: That’s what I’m worried about.
Me: Yes. Sorry.