Me: How did Poppy’s phone call with the Royal Terriers go?
Nell: Not well at all.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: She’s been given 3 points on her licence and has to attend a sword awareness course.
Me: I didn’t know there was such a thing.
Nell: Why would you? You don’t carry a sword.
Nell: She says she’s not going, of course.
Me: She has to attend, Nell.
Nell: I know. Harriet is trying to reason with her right now.
Me: Good luck with that.
Nell: Poppy’s sitting in the yellow chair refusing to listen. She’s completely defiant and only wants to play Cheeky Animals.
Me: Do you think they’ll take her sword away?
Nell: They might try. I’m not entirely sure they’ll succeed, however. She says she’s prepared to fight if necessary.
Me: Should we ask John the Doberman to talk to her? He is her fiancé.
Nell: Ex fiancé. She says she’s done with romance and it’s highly overrated.
Me: What a shame.
Nell: John’s already tried. He came round early this morning with a blueberry muffin. Her favourite.
Me: Did she listen?
Nell: She threw it at him.
Me: What a waste.
Nell: Don’t worry. David caught it. He’s good like that.
Me: Yes, I’ve noticed. Maybe Knitwear Wolf could give it a try? He’s calm and sensible and we all listen to him.
Nell: Yes, we do.
Me: And autumn is his time of the year.
Nell: What are you talking about?
Me: It’s the perfect time for cardigans and the colours are wonderfully wolfish.
Nell: You worry me sometimes. You really do.
Me: Harriet is an autumn sort of animal too with her glossy conker brown coat.
Nell: Could we stop discussing colour palettes and get back to Poppy, please?
Me: Yes. Sorry.