Me: That’s an awfully serious face for this time of the morning.
Nell: Buckingham Palace has just been on the phone.
Me: King Charles called you?
Nell: Not Charles himself. Beth and Bluebell the Royal Terriers.
Me: How lovely.
Nell: And they didn’t call me. They called Poppy.
Me: There’s no need to be jealous, Nell. It’s probably a Terrier Thing. Poppy is one of them.
Nell: Poppy is a Maltese/Yorkie cross not a Jack Russell.
Me: She’s still a terrier.
Nell: It’s not a Terrier Thing. It’s a Stop Knighting Random Animals Thing.
Me: I’m surprised they’ve heard about it up in London.
Nell: Someone informed them.
Me: It wasn’t Sir PC Panda, was it?
Nell: No, it wasn’t. And stop calling him Sir.
Me: It won’t have been Sir Roger Blubbery, or the Duke and Duchess of Devon.
Nell: David and Harriet are not dukes or duchesses of anywhere.
Me: No. You’re all kings and queens in my eyes.
Nell: Here we go.
Me: Has Poppy agreed to stop?
Nell: She told them she was too busy to talk as she was grilling bacon.
Me: That was a bit rude of her.
Nell: I agree.
Me: What did they say?
Nell: They said ‘Streaky or Back Bacon?’
Me: They never did.
Nell: Of course they didn’t. They told her to call them back after breakfast.
Me: Is she going to?
Nell: I hope so, or there will be trouble.
Me: Do you think they’re going to confiscate her sword?
Nell: It is highly likely.
Me: She won’t surrender it freely you know.
Nell: Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.
Me: I wonder who informed them. Someone obviously wants Poppy to be unarmed and vulnerable.
Nell: Poppy doesn’t do vulnerable. The mere idea.
Me: You’re right. Sorry.
