Me: Dave’s outside staring at the sky with very white teeth.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: His teeth look really white, Nell. It’s extraordinary.
Nell: Is he sitting in the shade?
Me: Yes. He’s awfully sensible about keeping out of the sun. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: David is a black Labrador sitting in the shade and that’s why his teeth look white.
Me: I thought he’d had them whitened.
Nell: As previously mentioned, David is a Labrador not a television presenter.
Me: He’d make a wonderful presenter though. He has the good looks and charm.
Nell: Here we go.
Me: Imagine him hosting a quiz show, or even his own talk show interviewing celebrities.
Nell: Stop getting carried away.
Me: What about a cooking show where he tries the food at the end?
Nell: He might struggle with the ‘tries’ part. David tends to finish rather than try.
Me: True.
Nell: Is he staring at anything in particular?
Me: I wondered about that too until I spotted Walter.
Nell: Those two can play Cowardy Custard for hours.
Me: Yes. Dave usually wins.
Nell: I have no idea why they enjoy it so much. It isn’t as if anyone wins a prize.
Me: It’s all about the glory of winning.
Nell: I see.
Me: A proper battle of wills. Who will look away first? Who has the guts to keep staring?
Nell: Don’t talk about guts, please. I’ve only just had my breakfast.
Me: It’s just a saying.
Nell: Don’t forget you’re having your hair cut this afternoon.
Me: I know.
Nell: Make sure you wear your eyepatch.
Me: It’s bad enough having to stare at myself for hours, Nell. Don’t make me do it dressed as a pirate.
Nell: You have a bad eye.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
