Me: I may have got this wrong.
Nell: Probably.
Me: But I feel that Dave might have eaten something by mistake.
Nell: Is this just a feeling, or do you have evidence?
Me: Dave has made himself very small in the yellow chair and is trying to hide behind a little cushion.
Nell: That’s never going to work.
Me: No. He should have chosen a larger one.
Nell: And a different coloured chair. You don’t hide in a yellow chair. Especially if you’re a giant black Labrador.
Me: True.
Nell: Do you know who David is hiding from?
Me: I think I do.
Nell: Is it me?
Me: Is it you?
Nell: You tell me.
Me: I don’t think it is and I wouldn’t tell you if it was.
Nell: Why are you then?
Me: Because I think it’s Poppy.
Nell: Oh dear.
Me: Exactly.
Nell: Why do you think it’s Poppy?
Me: Because she’s lying on the sofa watching Dave with her Fiercest Face.
Nell: The one with the Killer Eyes and the Slight Smile?
Me: Yes.
Nell: That is worrying.
Me: Dave looks extremely worried.
Nell: David should be extremely worried.
Me: What can we do?
Nell: We’re going to have to intervene.
Me: But she’s probably got her cutlass.
Nell: Almost certainly.
Me: We could be sliced in two.
Nell: Poppy would never harm any of us.
Me: Not even Dave?
Nell: Of course not. She’s just annoyed and is teaching him a lesson.
Me: Do you think he might have eaten the Platinum Jubilee Pudding that was in the refrigerator and isn’t anymore?
Nell: Is there an empty bowl?
Me: There’s one with a bit of jelly in the bottom but otherwise it’s basically licked clean.
Nell: David is in so much trouble.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
