Me: Poppy and Harriet were jolly naughty this morning.
Nell: Were they?
Me: Yes, you know it’s a Bank Holiday today?
Nell: Yes, and Janet Mason’s birthday.
Me: I didn’t know that.
Nell: There you are.
Me: What’s that supposed to mean?
Nell: You’d be surprised at what I know.
Me: I don’t think I would.
Nell: You just were.
Me: Never mind. Poppy and Harriet are still naughty.
Nell: Let’s move on to these false accusations then, shall we?
Me: They’re not false accusations. I was writing quietly and Kev was trying to have a lie-in when Harriet slithered up the bed and Poppy actually stood on him.
Nell: Now, let’s be clear. Labradors don’t slither. We are not snakes. We may occasionally slink but we never slither.
Me: She manoeuvred her way to the top of the bed.
Nell: Better.
Me: And Poppy climbed on top of him with all four paws.
Nell: She isn’t going to balance on her front two like a circus dog, is she? Good grief.
Me: It was naughty. They knew Kev was asleep.
Nell: I think naughty is a little excessive. I would prefer concerned.
Me: You don’t stand on someone if you’re concerned about them.
Nell: David does. All the time.
Me: That’s different. People aren’t asleep.
Nell: Poppy probably wanted to check if Kev was really asleep.
Me: Rubbish.
Nell: And was he?
Me: Was he what?
Nell: Was Kev asleep?
Me: No. He got up.
Nell: So, what’s all the fuss about?
Me: It’s the wrong way to start a Bank Holiday.
Nell: I beg to differ. Last seen Kev was downstairs enjoying a full English breakfast with David and Harriet.
Me: Oh.
Nell: Exactly the right way to start a Bank Holiday. Wouldn’t you agree?
Me: Yes. Sorry.
