Have you seen Harriet?

Nell: Have you seen Harriet? Poppy is looking for someone to help with clearing up.

Me: I haven’t really seen much of her at all lately.

Nell: I’m sure she said she was going up to the top garden for a swing in Alejandro’s hammock.

Me: Did she? Well, there we are. Maybe David can help.

Nell: What does ‘there we are’ mean? It’s more like ‘there we aren’t’.

Me: It’s just a saying, Nell.

Nell: Poppy needs help now. And no, David, can’t help. He’s not good with washing up. He gets far too excited about the bubbles.

Me: What about Malcolm and Manuel?

Nell: They’ve gone to the Dash and Hurry with Rupert to stock up on necessities.

Me: Don’t you mean Cash and Carry?

Nell: Certainly not. Nobody uses cash nowadays. Do keep up. Why are you shaking your head?

Me: Am I? I must have water in my ears.

Nell: Nonsense. You haven’t even been swimming. You’re up to something.

Me: No, I’m not.

Nell: You’re signalling to someone in the back garden.

Me: Why would I do that?

Nell: Where are my binoculars?

Me: You don’t need those. You can see Harriet perfectly well without them if you look hard enough.

Nell: Ha! I was right.

Me: You tricked me.

Nell: I knew Harriet was out there all the time. I just wanted to see how long you could hold out before telling me.

Me: I think she just wants some alone time, Nell. She loves thinking thoughts in the garden.

Nell: There’s a time for thinking and that’s after the clearing up has been done.

Me: You often sit and think.

Nell: I am a senior Labrador and the head of this household. I have a lot more to think about.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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