Me: You and Harriet look awfully serious.
Nell: We are discussing scotch eggs, if you must know.
Me: Harriet needs to let it go. It was only one egg and it was a mistake.
Nell: She has.
Me: What’s the problem then?
Nell: Do you know if Barks and Spencer deliver?
Me: Not around here, unfortunately. We live too far away.
Nell: Well, that’s rather troubling.
Me: Yes, it’s a great shame.
Nell: Have you noticed anything odd about David?
Me: No.
Nell: He asked for mackerel yesterday evening.
Me: Did he?
Nell: Yes, and this morning he had kippers for breakfast.
Me: I didn’t know kippers were an option.
Nell: That’s not the point. David never has kippers for breakfast.
Me: No.
Nell: Or mackerel for tea.
Me: True.
Nell: And that’s not all.
Me: It isn’t?
Nell: You’re not going to believe this.
Me: I just might.
Nell: Kev laughed like a seagull yesterday evening.
Me: Did he? How lovely. I’m so glad.
Nell: Didn’t you hear what I said?
Me: Yes. Kev laughed.
Nell: Like a seagull.
Me: Don’t be silly, Nell. People laugh like a drain not a seagull.
Nell: Why bring drains into this? We are talking about seagulls.
Me: His throat is a little sore after the operation. The doctors said it might be.
Nell: It wasn’t his usual deep voice. It was screechy. Both David and Kev are not being themselves.
Me: I don’t really know what Dave eating fish has to do with Kev sounding like a seagull.
Nell: I do.
Me: What?
Nell: Scotch eggs.
Me: You’d better keep an eye on the llamas then. Because when I last saw them they were all eating scotch eggs in the field.
Nell: Why didn’t you stop them?
Me: I didn’t know. Sorry.
