Me: You sound tired.
Nell: I’m just resting my eyes. Poppy is here. I’ve got you on speaker.
Me: We’ve checked in to the hotel.
Nell: Any problems?
Me: Not really.
Nell: What does that mean?
Me: I may have had a slight disagreement with a rather rude man on reception.
Nell: Oh dear.
Me: He said, ‘ When you mentioned you were bringing your dog I wasn’t expecting it to be quite so large.‘
Nell: That’s unforgivably rude. Calling David ‘large’ and ‘it.’
Me: I said, ‘You don’t seem to mind lions and tiger cubs so I don’t see why a large Labrador should bother you.’
Nell: You said ‘tiger cubs’?
Me: Yes. He looked ever so shifty and mumbled about upgrading me which goes to prove Tigerlily is definitely here.
Nell: Sally told you to be discreet.
Me: Anyway, we now have a luxury suite with plenty of room and a lovely view of our beach. You’ll have to let me know when you’re going down there next and we can wave to you from the balcony.
Nell: May I remind you that you are not on holiday. You are on a mission.
Me: Yes, but I have to get into my role. Famous author and her trusty four legged companion. The hotel has a history of accommodating authors you know.
Nell: You aren’t famous.
Me: They don’t know that.
Nell: We need you to make a thorough tour of the hotel and grounds. Take photos if you can but don’t be too obvious.
Me: Don’t worry I shall wear a hat.
Nell: Just try not to draw attention to yourselves, please.
Me: Oh, there’s someone knocking at the door. Must be room service. Funny, I haven’t ordered anything.
Nell: Don’t open the door.
Me: Got to go. Sorry.