Me: Happy New Year, Nell. 2022 is going to be the year of New Beginnings and Happier Times.
Nell: Happy New Year to you too, and you might well be right.
Me: What was all the noise downstairs?
Nell: We were playing a quick game of New Year’s Day Shenanigans with Kev and David took it too far, as usual.
Me: What did he do?
Nell: He climbed on to Kev’s head. Who does that?
Me: Not a 45 kilo Labrador, if possible.
Nell: That animal never listens.
Me: He’s just affectionate. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He can’t help himself.
Nell: I’m afraid there’s no cereal for breakfast this morning. You’ll have to make do with toast.
Nell: We are saving the milk for the little one.
Me: What little one?
Nell: Haven’t you looked in the kitchen?
Me: Not yet.
Nell: Well, don’t disturb it if it’s finally fallen asleep. We had awful trouble getting it to eat its porridge.
Me: Is it one of Henry and Horst’s friends? Only I didn’t know insects ate porridge.
Nell: Woodlice are crustaceans. It’s not an insect.
Me: What is it then?
Nell: A lion cub, of course. Do keep up.
Me: So, it’s come out of the loft?
Nell: I can’t believe you slept through it.
Me: I was tired.
Nell: Nothing to do with the port then?
Me: You have to toast the New Year. How did you get it down?
Nell: David sang ‘Hakuna Matata’.
Me: He did.
Nell: Roary loved it so much he jumped down and started dancing.
Me: Don’t you mean Simba?
Nell: I do not. The cub is called Roary and he’s run away.
Me: From Africa?
Nell: No, from the Burgh Island Hotel. His father is Lionel King.
Me: Gosh. Sorry.