Happy New Year

Me: Happy New Year, Nell. 2022 is going to be the year of New Beginnings and Happier Times.

Nell: Happy New Year to you too, and you might well be right.

Me: What was all the noise downstairs?

Nell: We were playing a quick game of New Year’s Day Shenanigans with Kev and David took it too far, as usual.

Me: What did he do?

Nell: He climbed on to Kev’s head. Who does that?

Me: Not a 45 kilo Labrador, if possible.

Nell: That animal never listens.

Me: He’s just affectionate. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He can’t help himself.

Nell: I’m afraid there’s no cereal for breakfast this morning. You’ll have to make do with toast.

Me: Why?

Nell: We are saving the milk for the little one.

Me: What little one?

Nell: Haven’t you looked in the kitchen?

Me: Not yet.

Nell: Well, don’t disturb it if it’s finally fallen asleep. We had awful trouble getting it to eat its porridge.

Me: Is it one of Henry and Horst’s friends? Only I didn’t know insects ate porridge.

Nell: Woodlice are crustaceans. It’s not an insect.

Me: What is it then?

Nell: A lion cub, of course. Do keep up.

Me: So, it’s come out of the loft?

Nell: I can’t believe you slept through it.

Me: I was tired.

Nell: Nothing to do with the port then?

Me: You have to toast the New Year. How did you get it down?

Nell: David sang ‘Hakuna Matata’.

Me: He did.

Nell: Roary loved it so much he jumped down and started dancing.

Me: Don’t you mean Simba?

Nell: I do not. The cub is called Roary and he’s run away.

Me: From Africa?

Nell: No, from the Burgh Island Hotel. His father is Lionel King.

Me: Gosh. Sorry.