Nell: Is that Toby?
Me: Yes. Tony shared a photo. Isn’t he a naughty pup? I expect he’s awfully sorry.
Nell: He doesn’t look sorry.
Me: Well, no he doesn’t, but he will be deep down.
Nell: I’m afraid that pup is growing up to be a little scallywag.
Me: Sue says he’s a Daddy’s boy. Like you.
Nell: Like me? I’m not a boy. I am a lady Labrador.
Me: You’re a proper Daddy’s girl, Nell. You adore Kev and he adores you.
Nell: Everyone is adored in our family. It’s the way we are.
Nell: Now, I have some interesting news about the lion in our loft.
Me: Do tell.
Nell: There have been several sightings of a tail and large paws and Harriet has reported a rather high pitched roar.
Me: Maybe Lionel’s injured himself.
Nell: Evidence suggests that this is not Lionel.
Nell: Lionel has a deep roar.
Me: What can we do?
Nell: Henry and Horst have volunteered to enter the loft.
Me: No. The lion might eat them.
Nell: Lions aren’t interested in woodlice. If they were llamas, or antelopes I would be worried. On so many levels.
Me: What are Henry and Horst going to do?
Nell: They will be wearing surveillance equipment so we should get a good idea of who exactly is up there.
Me: They’re awfully brave, aren’t they?
Nell: Yes. They are indeed.
Me: How are they going to get up there though? They’ve only got little legs.
Nell: David will carry them on his head.
Me: You can’t let Dave go up there, Nell. The lion will think he’s an antelope.
Nell: Nobody could ever mistake David for an antelope. And rest assured he will merely quietly climb the ladder.
Me: Oh good. Sorry.