Nell: Look at the state of Harriet. She’s ruined her new collar.
Me: She looks adorable all Sandy Faced.
Nell: You would say that.
Me: Beaches are for getting sandy, Nell.
Nell: You don’t have to share the back of the car with her.
Me: A happy car is a sandy car.
Nell: You’re just as bad. How many times have I told you to take your Wellington boots off outside?
Me: You’re a bit grumpy today.
Nell: Yes. I’m a little achy. My arthritis is playing up and I’m feeling rather old.
Me: We can’t have that. Let me go and find Knitwear Wolf. He always knows how to cheer you up.
Nell: Don’t bother Rupert on my account. I’m sure he’s extremely busy delivering soft, warm blankets to the poor and needy.
Me: No, he isn’t. He’s in the kitchen having a mug of tea and a bacon sandwich with Dave.
Nell: Typical.
Me: What about a bacon sandwich and a soft blanket on the sofa?
Nell: Lovely. Do you think Kev might light the fire?
Me: I’m sure he will. Would you like some tea while you’re waiting?
Nell: Yes, but in a pot please, not a mug, and Earl Grey, not builders.
Me: You’re obviously feeling better.
Nell: Could you pass me my iBone and reading glasses?
Me: Of course.
Nell: Well, that’s the limit.
Me: What?
Nell: A message from my friend Dorothy. ‘Can’t play Bridge this afternoon as I’m taking tea with Lady Anwen at the Burgh Island Hotel. Feel free to join us if you’re up to it.’
Me: Well, you’re not up to it.
Nell: I certainly am. If you think a little arthritis is going to stop me from enjoying afternoon tea then you’ve got another think coming.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
