Me: Why are Poppy and the Puppies under the kitchen table?
Nell: Poppy has been advised to Lie Low so David and Harriet are Lying Low with her.
Me: Has Gladys been advised to Lie Low, too?
Nell: How did you know that?
Me: The Llamas were gliding alone in the field this morning.
Nell: Henry and Horst should have been with them. Were they wearing pyjamas?
Me: I couldn’t see Henry and Horst, Nell. They’re only woodlice.
Nell: I meant the Llamas and there’s nothing ‘only’ about Henry and Horst.
Me: The Llamas were in pyjamas and hats.
Nell: No raincoats, or ski suits?
Me: No.
Nell: Silly creatures. Now they will have to be towelled dry in The Barn and it’s full enough already.
Me: Why?
Nell: Gladys and Alejandro are in there with the larger animals.
Me: Lying Low?
Nell: Exactly.
Me: Has it anything to do with the Beefies shouting ‘To the Tower with the Thieves!’?
Nell: Those horrible hooligans must have read The Daily Growl.
Me: What did it say?
Nell: ‘Fierce local chef Poppy Martin and flamboyant professional dancer Gladys Pomeranian in masked raid on Windsor Castle.’
Me: Masked raid?
Nell: They were dressed as Father Christmas.
Me: It was only a few egg cups and they apologised to The Queen in writing. Anyway, you said she was fine.
Nell: You know that and I know that, but the public don’t.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: The question is who leaked the information to the press?
Me: It wasn’t me, Nell, or our followers, if that’s what you’re thinking.
Nell: No. It’s someone with a grudge against our family.
Me: The Daily Growl only mentioned Poppy and Gladys, didn’t they?
Nell: They are Family. Attack them and you attack us all.
Me: You’re right. Sorry.
