

Me: Harriet and Beauregard won! I’m delighted for them.
Nell: Calm down. The Daily Growl will be here soon and Harriet is practising looking regal.
Me: The new Queen of the Ballroom.
Nell: Deservedly so. She danced beautifully.
Me: Where is Beauregard?
Nell: In the garden playing Cheeky Animals with Henry and Horst.
Me: Do Henry and Horst have tongues?
Nell: No, but that won’t stop them. Nothing does.
Me: Isn’t the whole game based on secretly sticking out your tongue?
Nell: And catching your opponents when they do. Henry and Horst are excellent catchers. Anyway, shouldn’t you be getting ready? You’ve got a book signing to attend.
Me: I know. I’m a bit nervous to be honest.
Nell: Why?
Me: I’m actually quite shy, Nell.
Nell: Kev will be with you. There’s nothing to worry about.
Me: I wish you were with me.
Nell: I know you do but there’s nothing to be done.
Me: You’re right.
Nell: Besides I’m needed here. Gladys is in floods of tears and Count Bingo has shut himself in the tree house and won’t come down.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: They’ll perk up as soon as Sunday Songs start. The llamas have managed to organise trampolines and the Welsh corgi choir are singing show tunes.
Me: Oh good. I don’t like to think of them being sad.
Nell: It’s nothing a good bounce and a Sunday roast won’t cure.
Me: Would you ask Poppy to save some for me and Kev? We’ll be hungry when we get back.
Nell: I very much doubt it. Poppy has made you a picnic. Mini quiches, sandwiches, scones, cake, mince pies and a flask of tea.
Me: How kind of her.
Nell: She loves you. We all do. Now, go and sell some books.
Me: Yes. Sorry.