Strictly Champions

Me: Harriet and Beauregard won! I’m delighted for them.

Nell: Calm down. The Daily Growl will be here soon and Harriet is practising looking regal.

Me: The new Queen of the Ballroom.

Nell: Deservedly so. She danced beautifully.

Me: Where is Beauregard?

Nell: In the garden playing Cheeky Animals with Henry and Horst.

Me: Do Henry and Horst have tongues?

Nell: No, but that won’t stop them. Nothing does.

Me: Isn’t the whole game based on secretly sticking out your tongue?

Nell: And catching your opponents when they do. Henry and Horst are excellent catchers. Anyway, shouldn’t you be getting ready? You’ve got a book signing to attend.

Me: I know. I’m a bit nervous to be honest.

Nell: Why?

Me: I’m actually quite shy, Nell.

Nell: Kev will be with you. There’s nothing to worry about.

Me: I wish you were with me.

Nell: I know you do but there’s nothing to be done.

Me: You’re right.

Nell: Besides I’m needed here. Gladys is in floods of tears and Count Bingo has shut himself in the tree house and won’t come down.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: They’ll perk up as soon as Sunday Songs start. The llamas have managed to organise trampolines and the Welsh corgi choir are singing show tunes.

Me: Oh good. I don’t like to think of them being sad.

Nell: It’s nothing a good bounce and a Sunday roast won’t cure.

Me: Would you ask Poppy to save some for me and Kev? We’ll be hungry when we get back.

Nell: I very much doubt it. Poppy has made you a picnic. Mini quiches, sandwiches, scones, cake, mince pies and a flask of tea.

Me: How kind of her.

Nell: She loves you. We all do. Now, go and sell some books.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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