Keep Your Enemies Close

Me: You seemed deep in thought down on the beach.

Nell: I have a lot on my mind.

Me: What were you and Poppy talking about?

Nell: Poppy is finding keeping our enemies close rather exhausting, as am I.

Me: You should have seen your face when Lady Anwen arrived for lunch.

Nell: Fortunately Rupert took me to one side and explained.

Me: I never knew that The Queen pardoned a Bad Corgi once a year if they promised to be Good.

Nell: Seriously?

Me: Yes. I knew about the US President pardoning a turkey and I know Lady Anwen is a royal corgi but it was quite a surprise because she’s been awfully Bad.

Nell: I worry about you sometimes I really do.

Me: Why?

Nell: You’ll believe anything.

Me: Isn’t it true then?

Nell: No. Sally organised her release. Lady Anwen has been masterminding the tainted biscuit operation from Dartmoor Prison and needed to be stopped.

Me: But she showed us her Royal Letter of Pardon.

Nell: An easy forgery. Rupert and Poppy brought it to her having convinced Myfanwy it was real.

Me: Clever. And now she is free?

Nell: She had to promise to be Good. At the first sign of Badness she will be back inside.

Me: Does taking the last Yorkshire Pudding without asking count?

Nell: No. Unfortunately. It is only a matter of time, however, and Poppy is on the case.

Me: At least Malcolm and Alejandro don’t seem too upset about being eliminated from Strictly.

Nell: No. It was the correct decision. Alejandro is fine with the Latin dances but ballroom was always going to be a challenge.

Me: The Llamas seem to manage and they have hooves.

Nell: Alejandro is an alpaca and llamas have toes not hooves.

Me: Oh. Sorry.

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