Dangerous Dunking

Me: Nell, have you got a moment?

Nell: I’m sunning my fur.

Me: You can still talk to me.

Nell: If it’s about Timothy leaving, then talk to PC Panda.

Me: Where has Timothy gone?

Nell: Nobody knows. He’s been given a new identity.

Me: Because of the biscuits? Is he in the witness programme?

Nell: No. It’s Thanksgiving on 25th November and then Christmas. This is a dangerous time to be a turkey.

Me: What about the investigations?

Nell: PC Panda has all the information. The only thing you need to know is you must keep well away from biscuits.

Me: Only crunchy ones. A crumbly shortbread is surely acceptable. Especially if Poppy makes it.

Nell: No shortbread.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: What do you mean by ‘Oh dear’?

Me: I’m not sure anyone told the llamas.

Nell: What?

Me: Or the Welsh corgi choir.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: I saw them rehearsing carols in the field.

Nell: And?

Me: And I could be wrong about this but I do believe there might have been some dunking.

Nell: Dunking?

Me: Yes, of crumbly shortbread in their mugs of tea.

Nell: Why didn’t you stop them?

Me: I didn’t know.

Nell: And who gave them the shortbread?

Me: I presumed it was Poppy. She always gives them shortbread with their morning tea.

Nell: Poppy has gone sky diving with John the Doberman. She isn’t even here.

Me: Hang on a minute. Did you just say sky diving?

Nell: Yes.

Me: With a Doberman?

Nell: Not any Doberman. Her fiancé John.

Me: I never imagined John as a sky diver. It’s not something you think of such a large dog doing.

Nell: John isn’t sky diving.

Me: Oh, I see.

Nell: He’s flying the plane.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

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