Me: Nell, have you got a moment?
Nell: I’m sunning my fur.
Me: You can still talk to me.
Nell: If it’s about Timothy leaving, then talk to PC Panda.
Me: Where has Timothy gone?
Nell: Nobody knows. He’s been given a new identity.
Me: Because of the biscuits? Is he in the witness programme?
Nell: No. It’s Thanksgiving on 25th November and then Christmas. This is a dangerous time to be a turkey.
Me: What about the investigations?
Nell: PC Panda has all the information. The only thing you need to know is you must keep well away from biscuits.
Me: Only crunchy ones. A crumbly shortbread is surely acceptable. Especially if Poppy makes it.
Nell: No shortbread.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: What do you mean by ‘Oh dear’?
Me: I’m not sure anyone told the llamas.
Nell: What?
Me: Or the Welsh corgi choir.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: I saw them rehearsing carols in the field.
Nell: And?
Me: And I could be wrong about this but I do believe there might have been some dunking.
Nell: Dunking?
Me: Yes, of crumbly shortbread in their mugs of tea.
Nell: Why didn’t you stop them?
Me: I didn’t know.
Nell: And who gave them the shortbread?
Me: I presumed it was Poppy. She always gives them shortbread with their morning tea.
Nell: Poppy has gone sky diving with John the Doberman. She isn’t even here.
Me: Hang on a minute. Did you just say sky diving?
Nell: Yes.
Me: With a Doberman?
Nell: Not any Doberman. Her fiancé John.
Me: I never imagined John as a sky diver. It’s not something you think of such a large dog doing.
Nell: John isn’t sky diving.
Me: Oh, I see.
Nell: He’s flying the plane.
Me: Of course. Sorry.
