Me: There were an awful lot of Beefies gathering around the island, weren’t there?
Nell: Is that why you made a video?
Me: Yes, I thought it might be useful as evidence.
Nell: Evidence of what exactly?
Me: Increased Beefy activity in the vicinity of the island.
Nell: Stop playing detective, Sherlock Martin.
Me: But why were there so many?
Nell: They seemed to want to keep people away from the island.
Me: I bet that’s where the dangerous Spekulatius biscuits are being made.
Me: Somewhere on that island a mad professor is busy mixing potions to steal the voices of innocent animals.
Nell: A mad professor?
Me: I can see it all, Nell.
Nell: Well, don’t. Where were you and Kev yesterday, by the way?
Me: In Plymouth getting our booster vaccinations.
Nell: Excellent. You were gone a long time.
Me: There were lots of people which meant a long wait but was also a good thing if you know what I mean.
Nell: I do and I’m glad. We need you to be safe.
Me: I’ve had a thought.
Nell: Here we go.
Me: I’m going to the hairdressers this afternoon and she usually gives me a small Spekulatius with my tea.
Nell: Well, don’t eat it.
Me: It would be rude not to, Nell, and I do love a crunchy biscuit.
Nell: A moment ago you were talking about mad professors making dangerous biscuits and now you want to eat one.
Me: There are never any Beefies at the hairdressers, Nell.
Nell: We can’t even be sure that the Beefies are behind this.
Nell: Stephen Seagull swears blind to Poppy that they are actually trying to protect everyone and someone is setting them up.
Nell: So no biscuits.
Me: No. Sorry.